Friday, June 8, 2012

D(ee)r Chickens,

To my dearest fluffy, squawking, spoiled feathered friends,

I was quite surprised at the sight to which I awoke this morning.  While rubbing my sleepy eyes and staring out the window, I was sure I was still sleeping.  A doe a deer a female deer....wait this is not a musical...a deer was standing outside your chicken coop watching you very closely.  You gals were having quite a staring contest with her, nose to beak with nothing but chicken wire in between.  Am I wrong?  Were my sleepy eyes deceiving me?  If only I had my camera handy.  I assume she must have come across your lair while she was grazing and was caught by quite a surprise to see all of you ladies, squawking away at this unknown intruder...a quiet and stealth you haven't seen up close before.  I can only imagine your surprise and fear and possibly hers, at that.  I watched as she investigated you closely and then moved on to something more interesting.

As I encouraged Waylon, our supposed guard pup, to chase the deer off, I was met by a blank stare and feeling that if he could roll his eyes, he would.  I have come to realize that Waylon is really good for no such things as being a watch dog or a normal dog at that.  I apologize dear chickens that his lack of prey drive has left you to your own devices when it comes to encounters of the animal kind.  But, fear not ladies, unless you are green and leafy, this deer wont bother you if she returns.  Of course, it worries your human momma, because she has a garden to tend.  But alas, this is no worry of yours.  You can go about your day scratching and pecking and being somewhat of a general nuisance.

In the meantime, you may find that the blueberry plants have been covered with bird netting.  Yes, I have seen seen you eying those ripening berries.  I know you think you are sneaky, but we did finally figure out that you gals were the ones eating the pole bean seedlings a few weeks ago and we solved that problem.  Don't blame me for the week of grounding to your pen.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I don't get fresh blueberries.  So now that the berries are turning full shades of luscious blue, I would like to keep them to myself  If you would like to keep your freedom, you will steer clear.

That is all my feathered friends, thank you for the delicious eggs and please refrain from pecking my newly painted toenails when I am in the yard. 

Your human momma


  1. This sounds like the most glorious way ever to wake up.

  2. Love it!!!!!!!!! I would love this life, Melissa! You are really blessed!

  3. I love the staring contest between the chickens and the deer. What a way to start your day! And better yet, you have chickens who can read! Tell them I say "hey" next time you write them a letter.


  4. Wow! I bet that was a site! Love the chicken letter. heheheh